50th Wedding Anniversary, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, August 7, 2010

August 7, 1960, fifty years ago, on a hot August afternoon in Gainesville, we were married in the Baptist Student Union on the campus of the University of Florida. Following the reception, and with a cowbell locked around Don’s leg, (thanks to Don’s fraternity brothers!), we drove off in our gray and white 1956 Chevrolet to begin our journey of married life.
    We are quite sure we never dreamed we would be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Our journey together has had many unexpected and surprising events and experiences we never dreamed we would have. Most of those have been joyous ones.
    Along the way God blessed us with four wonderful children and one grandchild. We couldn’t ask for them to be any more supportive of our journey here in Addis and at MCM. They think it is “kind of neat” to have parents our age off in a far distant country, and they proudly share with friends and colleagues where we are and what we are doing. Perhaps they are just happy to have us over 8,000 miles away so they don’t have to listen to any well-meaning advice from us!
    For some 40 years we have had the privilege for Don to work in hospitals in a number of developing countries. These were always short-term stays as he could not be away from his practice for long periods of time. All our children have been with us on some of these trips, and on our 25th wedding anniversary we celebrated with all of them in Bangalore, India, where Don was working in the Bangalore Baptist Hospital and the kids and I were involved in other projects.  Our children say that making these trips with us was the greatest gift we could give them.
    The longer we live, the more we realize that life is a gift and each day an opportunity. We are grateful for this precious God-given gift and pray that we will continue to live in its wonder and mystery.
    Along with this thought is recognizing the joy of sharing life together. Our journey of 50 years has been filled with great high moments and also some deep valleys. Few of us escape the days that can sometimes be dark. We believe, through the struggles and difficulties, we have all learned priceless lessons we would have learned in no other way. We have become as Henri Nouwen says, “Wounded Healers.” We have greater understanding, compassion, and empathy for others and have drawn closer as a family because of the times of pain.
    The journey has helped us realize how important relationships are in our lives. First, for us, is our relationship to God, and then, the love between us as husband and wife, spreading to our children, family, friends, and co-workers. We need to continue to nurture these relationships.
    We missed having our children with us to celebrate this special occasion, but our friends here came together to honor us with a lovely dinner party. We were overwhelmed at the love that evidently went into each detail of this wonderful event. The Korean pastor’s wife is a “balloon artist” and had creative art from the entrance to the apartments, down the hallways, on the ceiling and walls, climaxing with almost life-sized replicas of us, complete with a bridal veil. The food, Korean and Ethiopian, under the direction of our dining room manager, was both delicious and beautiful. Mr. and Mrs. Kim very ably arranged all the details, even to placing a floppy hat, something like a sombrero, on Don’s head, along with a shawl around his neck, and then to the strains of the wedding march we were to enter the festive room.
    Arrangements of roses were everywhere. Several of them contained at least 50 roses or more in each bouquet. We had a cake from the Sheraton Hotel, and all the surgeons in the room were invited along with us, to make the first cut.
    The event was an international affair with guests from Korea, Ethiopia, Finland, Norway, and a few from America. Perhaps it was fitting for us to celebrate with these friends as evidence of the universality of God’s love as it extends to the whole world. We were grateful to all these dear ones who attended and who worked hard to make our 50th wedding anniversary a memorable and unforgettable occasion.
    We do not know what lies ahead, but for now we feel we are where God placed us and are eternally grateful for this opportunity. Before we left our home in Orlando, Florida for our journey of 8,000 miles, some verses from Psalm 139 seemed to express God’s care for us as we began a new chapter.  Inserting “us or we” in place of the “I or me”, the verses would read, “O Lord, you have searched us and know us. If we rise on the wings of the dawn, or settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide us, your right hand will hold us fast.”
    God’s abiding presence has been with us and is ever there each mile of the journey and will be for the road ahead. (See slideshow in sidebar.)
-- Barbara

Ginchi Church

Mr. Kim asked us to go with them to a church dedication on Sunday afternoon. We drove for 2 hours west of the city through beautiful rolling hills till we arrived at this rural area. It was overcast and sprinkling. We had to traverse a path of stones. They were embedded in gray sticky mud and were as slippery as oil on glass. Many people had turned out for this occasion, and, of course, they asked me to be part of the ribbon cutting team of dignitaries. Following the cutting, we all entered the church. Naturally, they placed Barbara and me on the front row, while the speakers were ushered to the platform.
    A young missionary from Korea had secured this property some 4-5 years prior, and the Myun-Sung missionaries had supported it over the developing years, culminating in this beautiful church dedication today. Some 300 to 400 people packed into the building, filling it to capacity. The preachers preached and the singers sang. The children’s choir was a special feature, and Barbara was “up close and personal” on the front row. They were so proud of this accomplishment. It was a great time of celebration. We were honored to be a part of the festivities. (See slideshow in sidebar.)
-- Don

World Cup

There was great interest in the world cup held in South Africa. Our school teacher friend Seppo Pandeho completed an adventure single handedly. He took local buses through Ethiopia, Kenya, Zambia, Botswana, to South Africa and then spent two weeks returning. We’ll post more when his documentary is ready. We lost contact with him for two weeks and had prayer groups around the world praying, as well as the Finnish Embassy in Johannesburg searching for him. He was returned safely to his family and we all were relieved.

    Alexander Kiplisund, a young teenage Norwegian student, challenged me to a “Coke Challenge” on the cup finals. He chose Spain (I think he had some inside skinny), and I chose the Netherlands. Since Spain won the world cup, I had to pay up. The next day he just showed up out of nowhere to claim his prize. I haven’t heard from him since. That’s the way those guys are you know. They take you to the cleaners and then skip town!
-- Don

Fourth of July

A highlight of our return was celebrating the Fourth of July. We brought some patriotic decorations, which we had on our front door and on our table as a centerpiece. We also brought stars and stripes paper plates, and napkins back with us. Don bought real Frankfurters in the airport grocery store at the Frankfort airport. We had thirteen guests with us on the night of the 4th, serving our German hot dogs, hamburgers, sauerkraut (couldn’t believe we found a can), baked beans (with a bit of improvisation), pasta salad, a 22-pound watermelon that Phil bought, and two desserts from the Sheraton Hotel, which the guys contributed. It was a special evening as we expats shared together the birthday of our wonderful country. For some, it was their first time away from the United States on July 4. We sang "God Bless America," and I know of at least one set of eyes that had a few tears. Several of our guests said they would never forget this particular celebration as we were bonded together in a foreign land.
    Ted and Phil have accomplished culinary skills, and we all enjoyed their surgical talents in the kitchen. Scott and I have accomplished eating skills. We watched. It was great fun preparing to have guests over for this special occasion. The Park family joined us as well as  Stephanie, Rick Hodes, and Richard Usatine, an academic dermatologist from the University of Texas, and Mr. Kim was our honorary American. 
Rick mesmerized the medical folks with his prodigious cases captured on his computer, and Richard did consults and eagerly joined in the festivities. There is nothing quite like celebrating the birth of our country abroad with other Americans. (See slideshow in sidebar.)
-- Barb & Don

Kee Park Family/CHET DOL

Kee and his family came as returning volunteers. He is a neurosurgeon and does volunteer work around the world and has been here several times working with the residency program. Kee comes from a medical family and grew up in New Jersey. As a Korean-American he speaks fluent Korean, as does his lovely wife Susan, who grew up in Philadelphia. Sophie is 12, Camille is 10 and Isabelle celebrated her first birthday with us. This is a beautiful family and they won the hearts of everyone. They are special friends to Barbara and me, and we’re anxious for them to come back for a longer assignment. Kee, Phil, and Ted are all spine surgeons and rendered a lot of teaching to the neurosurgical residents. Kee also did extensive brain surgery. He was a busy boy.
    Korean tradition has it that the first-year birthday (called the CHET DOL) is worthy of a big celebration, at which time the future profession of the child is predicted. Guests come with gifts to honor the child. The young Koreans here made arrangements at the Rainbow Korean Restaurant on the other side of town for the event, where approximately 50 attended. A wonderful buffet meal and music and song by the young Koreans preceded the celebrated ceremony. An array of items was placed on the table and the item she would choose would predict what she will be when she grows up: a spool of thread (seamstress/tailor), pencils (a scholar), microphone (a singer), a Bible (a preacher), stethoscope (a physician), money (a rich investor). Traditional Korean dress was called for. So they dressed Isabelle in the traditional Korean dress with bonnet and held her close to the presented items. With a lot of cheering from the audience and several attempted reaches by Isabelle, she chose the pencils. She follows her sisters, Sophie and Camille, who had chosen the pencils at their Chet Dol. It looks like we’re going to have a lot of intellectual ladies in the future. It was a special evening and we felt honored to be included in their celebration.
    Their trip was cut short when Camille became ill and had to be air-evacuated home for evaluation. The report is that she is doing well, and the prognosis is good. We are all relieved and look forward to their next visit. (See slideshow in sidebar.)
-- Don

Phil, Ted, and Scott

On July 1st two Orthopaedic Spine Surgeons, Dr. Phillip Meinhardt and Dr. Ted Belanger, and an Othopaedic Distributor, Scott Winn, arrived. What a wonderful boost they were. They all worked extremely hard and provided wonderful medical care to patients who were in need of spine surgeries.  Scott offered invaluable assistance as he inventoried orthopaedic equipment and supplies that were here, having been brought in by volunteers. This was a much needed help so the Orthopaedic physicians can know what equipment is on hand and then have it available when in surgery. This is a major problem in working with donated mismatched supplies. The result is that at the time of surgery they are not available, and this is a great loss for the patient and the surgeon. Scott’s contribution in organizing equipment was greatly appreciated. Many, many thanks Scott.
    Our guests from America have a great sense of humor and adventure. They were all willing to venture out, seeing the city, eating new foods, and giving us some hours of fun. In a span of about eight days we either ate out in a restaurant or hosted at  home every night but one.  We have never had such a full social calendar. I think the Orthopaedic volunteers never dreamed they would have so many dining invitations, expecting to lose weight while here, but probably picked up a pound or two. They all want to return. (See slideshow in sidebar.)
-- Don
 

Stephanie

In June, we were delighted that Stephanie Dietz, a rising senior at the University of Miami, came to spend a month at the hospital. She plans to attend medical school after graduation and wanted to "shadow" Don. She has been a huge help to Don, and I think is having some great experiences as she spends time in the clinics and in the O.R.  She is seeing patients with medical issues that she may never see in the states. We have kept her busy both with work and trying to see that she participates in the social and cultural life of this great city.
-- Barb

Stephanie has a priceless "can do" attitude. Along with an inquisitive mind, she has endeared herself to everyone, and has been embraced by the Ethiopian and Korean staff as a colleague. She has participated in morning conferences, grand rounds, ward rounds, clinics in the outpatient department, surgery, c-arm technician, completed a research database, and spent time with Dr. Rick Hodes at Mother Teresa’s rehab center. She has ably functioned at a level beyond her years of training.  She will have a bright future in medicine (Orthopaedics, of course).
Many thanks for your help this summer Stephanie. We all will miss you and wish you the best. (See slideshow in sidebar.)
-- Don

Health Exhibition

This past weekend there was a Health Exhibition at the Expo center located off Meskel Square. Since there are no street names or numbers, I elected to ride with the MCM shuttle. Otherwise I might still be riding around looking for the Expo. There was a large turnout and MCM presented itself well. Dr. Einar and I went visiting other booths, making new friends, and sharing our experiences and plans with each other.  The Koreans and Ethiopians were very professional, and I was proud to be a part of this group. My non-biased opinion was that our booth was the best. The fellowship was a bonus. (See slideshow in sidebar.)

-- Don

Karen

Saturday night I saw a consult in our emergency room: Karen, a 29 year-old Belgian lady touring with friends in Northern Ethiopia on a bus at night when the driver lost control. It was in an isolated area and was some time before the accident was discovered. The driver was killed, many people injured and my patient suffered a concussion, fractured R femur and multiple trauma. They were eventually taken to a local hospital and spent several days at that facility and then came by vehicle to Addis Ababa, and our ER. Karen was a very sick trauma patient, and we operated on her leg 11 April. Her recovery was slow but she never complained. Her dad, Oswald, flew in from Brussels and was a great help, as was her local friend Karim.
    Barbara had her dad over several times for food and friendship and encouragement and a number of outings in the city for food and drink. The volcanic ash problem in Europe aborted any attempt for medical evacuation and when seats were obtained it was a joyous occasion celebrated in her room before departure.

    Nationalities in the group photo: Belgian, French, Ethiopian, American, Korean, Norwegian! All these nationalities helping one special lady and her dad!

-- Don

Lemlem and Fikru

One of the joys of living in Addis Ababa, is the new and old friends that are a part of our lives. Lemlem (pronounced LumLum) is a wonderful young lady, who, with her husband, visited us in Orlando last year. She and Barbara go out each week shopping and have lunch together. Her mother, Martha, invited us to her home last Sunday for lunch, and, along with a family friend, Meseret (who is a caterer), prepared the meal for us. It was a wonderful Ethiopian meal with many dishes and even French fries for me. Of course they cut way back on the spices for us wimpy Westerners! Lemlem’s sisters (Meselale, Hiwot, Theseat) all pitched in. Lemlem’s brother is getting married in several weeks in Awassa, and Martha modeled her dresses for the occasion.

    All of this was followed by the traditional coffee ceremony. The dishes were cleared from the table and a specially designed, low table was brought in with tiny coffee cups placed on top. One of Lemlem’s sisters brought in a brazier containing burning charcoal, placed it on the living room floor, and began the process of roasting the coffee beans. The green coffee beans were placed in a long handled pan with holes in the bottom. The young lady worked diligently to fan the coals, which generated much smoke.  At the same time she continuously shook the pan back and forth across the top of the brazier. The husks from the coffee began to fall onto the floor. This first part took about 30 minutes, and when the coffee beans had turned brown, she then walked around the room to show each of us the results of her labor and for us to catch the tantalizing aroma of the freshly roasted coffee. The beans were taken to the kitchen to be ground, and then the traditional pot of water was brought out and placed over the coals to reach the desired temperature. When the water was hot enough, some of the freshly ground coffee was put into the pot of water, and the coffee was then ready to be served.  Warm popcorn served in a large tray was brought in and passed to each of us. Popcorn is traditionally served at a coffee ceremony. Participating in this Ethiopian ritual made for a very special ending to a lovely afternoon.

Fikru is a young Ethiopian artist friend of Jeff (our son). Jeff introduced us several years ago, and we have one of his paintings in our family room in Orlando. His work is abstract, and he has been quite successful in Europe. We have acquired and are enjoying several more paintings for our apartment in Addis. His wife Josephine is French with a PhD in archeology. They live six months of the year in Paris and six months in Addis Ababa. We visited his Addis studio at his home where he grew up in the Sidesk Kilo area. His mom and dad are warm and sweet folks. We have discovered that  his dad is very photogenic. My photography doesn’t do him justice.
    Fikru is busy preparing to join Josephine at their home in Paris for the next six months. They are building their dream home here, so I suspect they may be back sooner than later! (See slideshow in sidebar.)

-- Don